i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It was confusing and full of hummus
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
