Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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