i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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