I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
