They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
