Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
