I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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