I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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