she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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