It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
