U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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