I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
