Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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