I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
