yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
they need to just BURY HIM!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
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we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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