Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
