he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
