if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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