Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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