So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
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He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
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Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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