I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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