I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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