I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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