I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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