I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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