Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
