Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
