I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize