i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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