you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
