I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
