There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
