I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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