oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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