you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
