U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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