The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
