this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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