he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
