The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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