"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She's JV to your varsity
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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