i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
