Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
