I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
