so that wasnt chicken after all
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
