I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
