Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize