i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
