just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize