if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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