don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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