So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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